Men are from Mars and women are from Venus as they say and this includes everything from the types of foods you like to eat, right through to the kinds of things you talk about. As a woman you’re more likely to chat with friends, send lots of text messages, Tweets and Facebook messages simply because you’re a natural communicator. What you’re probably struggling with right now is what to talk about with your boyfriend and you’re wondering if there’s a list of topics to talk about with your boyfriend in the first place?
Before you start blaming yourself for not being able to engage your boyfriend in conversation it’s important to understand the differences between how men and women communicate in the first place. If you look at the types of text messages you send your friends you probably have a habit of sending long messages that explain all the details you wanted to fit in there. Men on the other hand have a habit of both sending and replying to texts in the quickest way possible. Most women take this to mean that their guy isn’t interested in having a conversation with them but that’s usually not the truth at all – it’s just rare for men initiate conversations.
There are lots of interesting things to talk about with your boyfriend and most of the conversation starters you need are going to be based on a couple of things:
- What he’s interested in
- What you’re interested in
- Day-to-day stuff that happens
- Anything major happening on the news
- Stuff you’re both mutually interested in
I know they say “opposites attract” when it comes to any relationship but as much as it’s nice to have things to learn about from each other it’s also a good idea to at least have some common interests that you can chat about over dinner, when you’re out enjoying a walk together or maybe even as pillow talk.
One of the quickest ways to get his attention and get him talking to you is to focus on things he’s interested in – be it sports, games consoles or whatever. You don’t need to go off and become a sports or gaming fan yourself but showing an interest in anything he does as a hobby or to unwind is going to have him chatting in no time at all.
Another way to start a conversation with your boyfriend is just to ask him how his day was and once he’s finished moaning about his boss the door is then open for him to ask you how your day went. This might seem a little bit deliberate but sometimes guys need to be invited to talk – remember most guys were raised to keep their problems to themselves and not share them with others. Your boyfriend would probably love the opportunity for somebody to sit and listen to him for a while just for once.
Anyone in their late 20s or early 30s right now has lived through a pretty incredible phase of human history. We’ve had the space program, moon landings, the fall of Communism, 9/11, a couple of major wars in different countries, the first black president in the history of the United States etc, etc. Basically there’s something new happening every single day in the world so if he seems to be interested in the current state of politics, economics or the 1% Movement then you have lots of topics to talk to him about. If he’s really passionate about a subject you might even regret ever asking him how he feels about it because that conversation could last for hours!
Talking to your boyfriend should come naturally but if it doesn’t then don’t panic. Every (and I mean EVERY) single relationship goes through a stage where you’ve learned a vast amount about each other in the early days, the honeymoon period is just over and you feel like you’re stuck in a bit of a relationship rut. You’re worried about this, and no doubt your boyfriend is too, but all you need to do is take some time to start learning new stuff about your boyfriend that you might not have noticed before.
Once you get into the habit of talking to your boyfriend about the important and not-so-important stuff in your daily lives you’ll find that pretty soon you’re not even trying.