The stereotypical image of a gay guy is a flamboyantly dressed, effeminate man who loudly pronounces to the world that he’s gay. It was this same image that stuck in the minds of the masses until the arrival of the AIDS virus opened up people’s eyes to the fact that Hollywood hunks like Rock Hudson could be gay – Hudson considered to be a real ladies man at the time. Slowly but surely it emerged that Hollywood was full of gay men and most of them came as a complete surprise to the general public, although the media had stayed quiet about many of them for years.
In real life gay most gay men are as masculine as any other guy, so it’s not a case of looking for the stereotypical traits in your man if you’re worried that he’s gay – you’re not going to find them. What I’m getting at here is that sometimes a guy can be gay and not even realize it himself, or he might suspect that he is but simply not be able to admit it. He’s spent his whole life growing up to be a certain type of man, so being gay isn’t something he can process.
Is Your Boyfriend Gay?
If you’ve gotten to the point when you’re thinking this might be the case then you obviously have reason for asking yourself this question. The issue here is that you can’t simply back him into a corner and just ask him straight out because the likely answer will be a “No”. The only way you can even be 90% sure that he’s gay is watching his behavior and habits – even then you might get it wrong. Some people assume that because a guy is a snappy dresser, a good listener or cooks well that he’s gay – which means that “real men” are the lazy slobs, who can’t cook, look like crap and ignore their girlfriends or wives. Crazy stuff eh? Watch for all the little warn signs which indicate your boyfriend might be gay.
Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Gay
There’s no one set of rules you can use for gauging whether or not your guy is gay, because every man is a little bit different. With that in mind there are some things you can watch out for which might suggest that your boyfriend might be gay, bi-curious or bisexual.
Sexual Stuff – A person’s sexual habits can tell you a lot about their sexual preferences sometimes. Most young couples enjoy having sex several times per day, often at any opportunity. If your boyfriend if struggling with the fact that he’s gay you’ll find that you probably have to initiate sex every single time – he never makes the first move. Even when you do have sex it’s rare, quick and lacks any real passion. Another potential sign that he’s at least bisexual is that he prefers anal sex to vaginal sex – although this isn’t written in stone.
Your Female Friends – Women have a remarkable ability of knowing that a guy is gay even when he doesn’t realize that he’s gay himself. If your boyfriend has met a lot of your female friends and they’ve all hinted that they think he might be gay, then there’s a very strong possibility that he is. I’m not trying to be offensive here but women do have very good “gaydar”.
Extremely Homophobic – sometimes the guys who scream the loudest about hating gay men are actually projecting their own internal struggle onto other men. All straight men can be homophobic to a certain extent, but when it comes to a guy who never shuts up about other gay guys….well…you can figure the rest out for yourself I hope?
There are any number of different signs that your man is gay or might be gay, but if you suspect that he is then it’s better to have that conversation as early in your relationship as possible.
Finding out now will save you a lot of heartache later on, and it also sets him free to live his life the way he needs to.