Other Men Keep Giving My Fiancée Gifts

Question:

Hi there,

My fiancée is accepting gifts from other men and she thinks it’s ok. What do you think?

Bill

Answer:

Hi Bill,

It all depends on exactly why she’s accepting these gifts to be honest Bill, but from what you’ve said these are obviously gifts coming from men who are trying to get her attention. To be blunt your fiancée is just playing games with these other guys, but she’s also playing games with you too.

Your fiancée think it’s okay to do this because she’s probably behaved this way her entire life. Did you give her a lot of gifts while you were dating, or did she demand them from you but never got them, for example? You see there are certain types of people who can only feel truly whole when they’re surrounded by material possessions, so your fiancée is probably accepting these gifts to give her comfort and security, even though you’re probably already providing her with both of these life requirements.

From an outsider’s point of view I would agree with you that your fiancée shouldn’t be accepting gifts from other men for a variety of reasons, but the main ones being that it’s wrong to lead other men on by doing it, and it’s equally wrong to cause you emotional hurt by doing this.

Have you asked her why she accepts these gifts, and whether she thinks it’s the right or wrong thing to do? I think they’re important questions to start with. A little bit of role reversal might help here i.e. “How would you feel if women were giving me gifts all the time?” – see how she responds to that.

Let me know what her answer is.

Marlon

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