My Husband Left Me Because His Mom Told Him To

Question:

Hi T-Dub,

I’m 5 months pregnant and my husband left me because his mother does not approve of our marriage.

I really want to save our marriage and have him where for the rest of the pregnancy, and for when our child is born.

Can you help me?

Thanks,

Sona

Answer:

Hi Sona,

Just to clear up a little misunderstanding up before I start – I’m not actually T.W. Jackson, but I do share his videos on my YouTube channel. You can relax though, because I am a relationship expert and I’m more than happy to help you with your problem.

Here’s how I see things:

  • Your husband needs to grow up – he’s married to you and not his mother. He obviously isn’t very clear on this.
  • If your husband’s mother is telling him what to do, and think, then she needs professional psychological help – she’s a control freak.
  • Some parents can’t stand to let their children live their own lives, usually because they’re afraid of being alone.

Believe it or not this isn’t the first time I’ve had somebody ask me for advice on this particular subject. A psychologically healthy parent will always want the best for their children, and to have them live their own lives – to fly the nest as soon as they can basically. A psychologically unhealthy parent will sabotage their children’s attempts at building their own lives and having any sense of personal freedom.

It’s called “borderline personality disorder“, and the reality is that your husband knows that his mother has some kind of mental health issue, and that it’s been there her entire life. The sad part is that she probably doesn’t even realize she’s ruining his life, but that doesn’t change the fact that she shouldn’t be interfering in any aspect of his adult life. We can all disapprove of things, but that doesn’t give us the right to interfere with how other people live.

Ask your husband to meet you, but not to tell his mother where he’s going. When you meet him mention that you’ve heard about something called “borderline personality disorder” and that the same “friend” who told you about this thinks he should read “Surviving a Borderline Parent” – it’s available on Kindle, so he doesn’t even need to own a paper copy of the book.

Your husband needs to cut the umbilical cord with his mother once and for all, walk away and build a life with you. It’s really that simple.

Marlon

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