My Guy Isn’t In The Right Mood For A Relationship

Question:

Hi Marlon,

I hope this email finds you well!

I’ve read, and really enjoyed, your blog posts and answers to relationship questions that other people send in – the advice you share with your followers is very interesting. The problem is I feel that overall your advice is not addressing me directly because I’m still struggling to get the guy I like, or maybe even love. So hopefully you don’t mind answering my relationship question today?

We (my boyfriend and I) recently talked about the whole idea of being “in love”, but he told me “I like you, but I am not in the mood for a serious relationship”.

I really don’t know what to do because I like this guy sooo much, and I can’t stop thinking about him all the time.

Please help me Marlon – I need your advice sooo badly!

Sara

Answer:

Hi Sara,

Thanks so much for your kind words on the advice I share with my readers, but I genuinely do understand that every person – and every relationship – is different. In fact the whole reason I offer a relationship advice service is to make sure that people just like you get the answers they need to their own questions 🙂

Now with the guy you really like, and maybe even love, there’s one big problem here for you, and it’s that he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want a relationship right now. The fact that he used the word “mood” when talking to you about your feelings for him doesn’t say a lot of positive stuff about him as a person. Moods are something which affect us from time to time, but you can’t simply decide you’re in the “mood” for a relationship. That would be strike #1 for me for this guy. Actually it would count for strike #2 and strike #3 too, to be honest.

You face the same dilemma as millions of other women right now – you’re trying to make a man love you. Worse again you’re trying and hoping that a dismissive, rude, man is going to suddenly fall in love with you, he’ll change his ways once he realizes how much you love him, and you’ll both live happily ever after. Does that sound about right? If so then Sara you’re not alone because there are very few women out there who didn’t try to change a “bad” guy into a “good” guy at some stage in their life. The problem is that in 99% of cases you can’t change a “bad” guy into a “good” guy simply because they don’t want to change.

I know you have a lot of feelings for this guy but I’m afraid you’re betting on a losing horse here Sara. You can’t make this guy love you, so don’t waste any more energy trying.

Remember there are lots of good guys out there who you won’t have to try to change, or improve – they’ll just love you for who you are without any question, right from the very start.

Marlon