My Girlfriend Wants A Break…Should I Break Up With Her And Beat Her To It?

Question:

My girlfriend has just told me she wants to take a break from our relationship because she doesn’t know if she loves me anymore. This is apparently because of all the things I’ve done wrong, like not appreciating her, etc. I begged and pleaded with her not to take a break but nothing worked. Now I’m sitting here waiting for her to make her mind up.

Should I just ignore her and then end it before she does?

Or are there things I can do to turn things around here?

Damion

Answer:

Hi Damion,

When people take a break from their relationship one of two things will happen. First the other person will sort themselves out and get on with the relationship, but usually what happens is that the relationship ends within a few weeks of the break starting.

Now you said that your girlfriend wanted this break because you haven’t been showing her that you appreciate her? The first question you need to answer for yourself here is whether or not that’s actually true. Why? Well if you have been neglecting her than this break is mostly your fault. What also stands out in your question is that you begged and pleaded but did you apologize? I don’t think you did, which means you still don’t think you did anything wrong, which is why your girlfriend is still annoyed with you.

A better approach than launching a “pre-emptive strike” and breaking up with her first might be to find out what’s actually annoying her so much that she’s considering breaking up with you. Why not sit down with her and have an honest conversation about what she’s annoyed about, and if you have been neglecting her then “turning things around” is about simply being the boyfriend she expects you to be.

Breaking up with her right now, without knowing any of the facts, would be a pretty silly thing to do from my point of view.

Show her you’re a man, and that if you’ve genuinely been mistreating her that you’re willing to do what it takes to show her that you really do love her.

Marlon

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