I Have A Crush On A Guy And It Could Ruin My Relationship

Question:

Hi Marlon,

I have a crush on a boy, and he likes me back. I like him a lot – and I mean a LOT. The problem is that I have a boyfriend but I am more crazy about this other guy than the guy I’m actually dating.

What should I do?

Olivia

Answer:

Hi Olivia,

There’s a simple rule in dating and relationships that I always stick to: What starts with cheating ends with cheating.

Basically if this other guy you have a crush on is willing to help you cheat on your boyfriend behind his back how long will it take for him to cheat on you? I understand that you’re probably feeling very confused right now, but cheating on your boyfriend (if you have) isn’t any way to “fix” that confusion.

You have the choice of breaking up with your current boyfriend and then, after a few weeks of being single, try dating this new guy. The problem is that right now you’re not making any choices, or at least not any positive ones.

It’s also worth thinking about the fact that you might only have a crush on this new guy, but not actually be in love with him. Sometimes when people have problems in their relationships – like when they get “bored” of the same old routine – they find any interest from another person very exciting. You’re probably more in “lust” with this new guy than in love with him.

So my advice is:

  • If you’re cheating on your boyfriend with this new guy then stop immediately – it’s a choice you can make right now
  • Realize that this might be just a crush, so keep some distance from this new guy for a while, even if he just wants to be “friends”
  • If you’re sure you’re more attracted to this new guy than your current boyfriend then do the right thing here and stop making a fool of him.

Marlon

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