I Dumped My Boyfriend To Get A Reaction

Question:

Hi,

I broke up with my boyfriend recently partly out of confusion, but also partly because I wanted to get a reaction out of him. It totally backfired though because the way he responded was the exact opposite of what I wanted.

He got angry at first when I told him we were done, but then he just told me to delete his number. I apologized to him the same day, and told him I’d made a big mistake and didn’t know what I was thinking at the time. He didn’t reply and he’s been ignoring me ever since.

I’ve tried calling him and texting him a few times, but he hasn’t responded at all. The last time I sent him a text was 2 days ago (Tuesday) telling him that I love him and asked him if he wanted to spend the weekend with me – I told him I’d wait for him to let me know.

He still hasn’t responded and I don’t know what to do.

I feel like this is all my fault and I can’t stop blaming myself.

Jenny

Answer:

Hi Jenny,

I’m not trying to be cruel here but the situation you’ve created for yourself is almost 100% your fault – you basically broke up with this guy on a whim and then decided that you wanted him back the same day. What did you really expect to happen here? That he’d just laugh, shrug it off and be completely okay with being dumped because you wanted to get a reaction from him?

The reason I’m saying it’s not absolutely 100% your fault is that his not replying to your texts or calls is pretty cold – it leaves you without any clue about what’s going on in his head right now. Although you put yourself in this predicament by dumping him unexpectedly he should still take the few seconds out of his life to text you back and let you know what he’s thinking or feeling.

To be fair you have tried very hard to apologize to him, so hopefully he understands that you zigged when you should have zagged and maybe he can learn to trust you again.

Now with that being said I can totally understand where your ex is coming from because, as you’ve found out, men have feelings too. In this particular situation you found out the hard way that men don’t react well to being dumped for no reason – it leaves a major dent in our pride you see.

If nothing else Jenny this is an important life lesson for you: Do Not Mess With People’s Feelings. It never ends well for anyone involved, because right now you’re upset because of a silly mistake, and you can be sure your ex isn’t feeling all that hot either.

It sounds like all this happened just a few days ago, so give him time to heal his bruised pride and ego, and just give him more time to respond. If you still haven’t heard from him after 2 – 3 weeks then you might need to accept that he’s made up his mind, that your relationship is over and it’s time to move on with your life.

I hope he contacts you soon, so that you can get some closure if nothing else.

Take care!

Marlon

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

jenny - May 12, 2014 Reply

So he ended up contacting me after a month! I spoke to his friend about my situation and he spoke to my ex, then on the same night my ex ended up calling me. I feel like i really did need this time away from him to realise how needy and terrible i was to him. I feel like it was some sort of emotional detox for me. Its been 3 days since weve spoken and weve spent alot of time with each other. Im showing him im a changed girl and no longer needy.. and surprisingly the tables have turned and he has been the one acting quite eager to speak to me and know what im doing but i dont mind, its a good change lol. I have learned alot and we are taking things slow. Thanks for your help! Hope you can use my experience as advice for others. Never lose hope!!!!!

Shenah Angell - August 17, 2015 Reply

Hi. Me and my partner keep having these arguments for absolutely no reason and we are trying to find out the cause of the problem, I really love him so much and i have a fear of losing him and I still want us to be together as we both suffer with ASD and memory problems.

We have been together nearly six months and was asking for advice and guidance, I have morderate learning difficulties.

I honestly can’t be without him as its so hard as I am not sure what to do?

Leave a Reply: