How Do I Win Back The Love Of My Young Policeman?

Question:

I started chatting with a guy about 2 months ago – he’s a policeman and he’s much younger than me too. But despite the age difference I started developing feelings for him. At first he treated me pretty well, there was a lot of flirting involved and he always made time to talk to me even though his job kept him pretty busy.

Then it all changed, but only after he’d been out on a mission with work. He became very involved in his job and any time I sent him a flirty text message all I got back was a dry “Thank you” or “I’m fine” type of message.

So I stopped texting him because he didn’t seem interested anymore, but after just 2 days he was texting me back asking me what was wrong!!??

He started replying to my messages as quickly as he had before, but they weren’t nearly as sensuous or exciting as they used to be. Then I went and told him that I loved him. This shocked him because he said I didn’t really know anything about him, which is true to be fair.

Now it seems I’ve scared him off. Please tell me what to do to get him back? 🙁

Nada

Answer:

Hi Nada,

When a woman says that her partner is “much younger” than her this usually means an age gap of at least 10-years, but more like 20-years in your case? If there is a significant age gap (10+ years) between you and this young policeman you’ll need to be very careful because relationships with major age differences between the partners rarely work out. They might last a few years, but generally speaking they fizzle out after between 3 and 5-years when both people realize that the age isn’t just a number and it really does matter that you’re from a different generation.

This leads me to how he’s reacting to texts from you – he’s obviously enjoying the flirty texts but did he ever promise you that you’d go out on a date or that the texts might lead to something more romantic and physical? I’m guessing that he never did that because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but he still wants your attention and the sexts you’re sending him – men are simple creatures and they love female attention!

He obviously cares about your feelings but it does seem that you’re more in love with him than he is with you? You see normally if people have been texting each other for more than a few weeks they’ll meet up and have dinner, or just go out on a date of some kind. The fact that he’s made no move to do that concerns me that for him he enjoys the flirting but that’s all he’s interested in.

If you genuinely think there’s a future with this guy then be patient and try to ease off on the “I love you!” stuff if you can. The other option you have here is to find somebody closer to your own age who’ll return all the love and attention you’re currently showering on this young policeman – it’s the very least you deserve.

Remember we can never make people love us, no matter how hard we try.

Marlon

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