How Can My Soul Mate Fight With Me So Much??

Question:

Dear “Guy”

My ex took his brother’s girlfriend’s side, so I dumped him. I love him soooo much though, and just want him back. I regret everything I said during the argument.

I don’t have money because I’m only 17, so I can’t buy the “How To Capture His Heart” book, and I really need it!

He’s supposed to be “the one”, yet he fights with me all the time. He always gives up on “us”, and I just really want him to be “the one”.

Please help!

Jodi

Answer:

Hi Jodi,

I’m really sorry to hear that your relationship with your boyfriend ended like that. I’m not sure what actually happened there though – he took somebody else’s side in an argument I’m assuming?

Although Ebooks like “How To Capture His Heart” are very useful and well worth owning, I’ll do my best to help you without you needing to buy the eBook too.

#1 You’re 17
Honestly the chances of you meeting “the one” at this stage of your life are very slim, and to be honest 17 is very young to be in a serious relationship with anyone. Were you dating this guy for long? If you haven’t been dating him for very long then having these kinds of serious breakups and arguments very early in any relationship is a bad sign.

#2 “The One”
I’m afraid this is a bit of a romantic myth created by self-help authors to sell lots of books and DVDs. There are 7.3 billion (7,300,000,000) people in the world today, so can you really tell me that this guy is the only person out of 7.3 billion people that you can ever possibly be happy with? We all have multiple soul mates Jodi – some of them are just here to teach us a lesson we need to learn, some are here to be our friends, and some are here to fall in love with us and be with us forever. I don’t think this guy is your “forever” soul mate though.

#3 He Fights
It’s interesting that you say “he fights with you all the time”, and not “we fight all the time”. This would suggest to me that he’s starting most of these fights with you? If he seems to “like” starting fights with you, or starts fights with you for absolutely no reason I have even more reason to suspect that he’s not your soul mate at all.

There are lots of good guys out there Jodi – guys who won’t want to fight with you the whole time, so it might be an idea to stay away from this “zero” and get with a hero instead?

You’re very young to be making major life decisions – take your time! Please!

Marlon

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Jan - June 15, 2014 Reply

Hi Jodi,

It has been my experience that when a guy starts a fight out of the blue, (for no reason), it is usually because he will push your buttons till you snap, at which time, he will justify his right to leave (leaving you at home). What does he do when he leaves: could be as innocent as hooking up with the fellas to shoot hoops, go fishing, or other activity to dating another girl. Men are wired to sometimes test a gal’s emotional maturity, so if you blow up, make a scene, or falsely accuse him of something he is not guilty of, he will eventually grow apart. Of course, if he is doing it for wrong reasons, such as to meet another girl, then he is in the wrong for not being honest with you, but most men who do this, see the girl being told the lie as convenient; and probably will never admit to it even if you catch them in the act. Hope this helps.

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