How Can I Tell If My Online Lover Really Cares?

How Can I Tell If My Online Lover Really Cares?


I met a guy online that I really care about but I’m not really sure what’s going on with him. He talks about sexual stuff quite a lot, but talks to me about normal stuff too. He’s always giving me loads of hints that he cares about me, and even told me once that he loved me. From my point of view he’s also very charming and always pays me compliments saying things like I have the shoulders of a goddess and that we’re kindred spirits, etc.

How can I tell if he really cares though? I don’t want to ask him straight out in case I scare him off.



Hi Aloee,

Online dating is tricky at the best of times simply because you don’t really know the person until you meet them, and even then it takes a while to get to really know them. If he was just talking about sex the whole time then I’d probably suggest avoiding him, but he seems to have “normal” chats with you too.

What does concern me a little bit are compliments like “…shoulders of a goddess” and “kindred spirits”. Why? Well these are the types of lines a player will use in online dating, and usually as a set up for some kind of cam sex situation.

The only way you can really find out if he cares or not is to just ask him Aloee. If he freaks out and runs away then he wasn’t worth your time in the first place, but if he sticks around then you can start figuring out what happens next from there.

Never try to guess what a person is thinking – it’s always easier to simply ask them, especially when it comes to men! The easiest way to find out if a man is lying to you is to simply ask him a very direction question without any warning.