Does My Violent Ex Still Miss Me?

Question:

I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half and things started to get a bit shaky between us. We went on a trip together to see if it would make us or break us. Well during the trip a volatile fight broke out and that was my deal breaker – if you lay a hand on a woman once, it will happen again!

He’s tried like crazy to get things back on track with me, but I wouldn’t do it. He’s always said how much he loved me, couldn’t live without me, got my name tattooed on him, said he’d never give up and that he’d even die for me.

THEN he found out I had used his credit card without asking him and he just instantly switched off of the idea of getting back together. He just said “Let’s move on, we’re no good for each other and ‘good luck!'”

I’ve followed the “no contact” rule for over a month now but while my head tells me this person is wrong for me, my heart aches and I feel bad for the way things ended. I just need to know if he misses me too, and if there would be any chance he would ever contact me again.

Beverly

Answer:

Hi Beverly,

Although you have a very good reason for terminating the relationship because of the physical abuse I think you’ve missed exactly why the relationship is now over from his point of view. You used his credit card without asking his permission and I’m going to assume you never repaid that debt? If that’s the case then I’m afraid you’ve stolen from him and with most people that’s an absolute no-no, so I wouldn’t expect to hear from him in the near future.

If, however, you did repay the debt and he’s still not speaking to you then that’s an entirely different situation – it might be a very clear indication that he’s had a complete change of heart and does want to move on with this life.

Your relationship seems to have been in trouble for a lot of reasons including his physical abuse towards you, and you then abusing his trust in you by using his credit card. In this case two wrongs don’t make a right I’m afraid. What has happened between you is no excuse for him to hit you though – you need to remember that.

If you really, really want to know if he misses you then the best way is to ask him, bearing in mind that if you do get back together you’re back in a potentially abusive relationship, with none of the previous issues resolved.

Please tread carefully here – your life could depend on it.

Marlon

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