The idea of having a long distance relationship is one thing…but a long distance marriage? Really? Well believe it or not folks there are millions of people around the developed world in long distance marriages right now and for several reasons.
Firstly there’s the fact that the world is currently in turmoil with armed forces from different countries serving in either peacekeeping or combative roles in literally dozens of different areas of conflicts and warzones around the world. The very nature of warfare – since the dawn of armed conflict – has required that men and women be separated from each other by vast distances, with the one major difference now being that women are just as likely to be the “soldier” on active duty away from home. Long distance military marriages are something which will be a feature of modern life for several decades to come it seems.
Secondly there are the simple economic pressures on people to keep food on their table and a roof over their head, which has led to what people are now referring to as “commuter marriages“. Basically if you already have a steady, well paid job in City X then there’s very little sense in moving to the economically depressed City Y where your spouse lives – there are no longer “jobs for life”, there are simply jobs for now instead.
The statistical analysis of long distance marriages though is that they do work and most couples have gotten past the point of “surviving” a long distance marriage and just accept that it’s how their life needs to be for the next few years.
3 Tips For Making Your Long Distance Marriage A Success
Now I’m assuming the reason you’re here is because you’re looking for some advice or tips on dealing with some aspect of long distance marriage problems, right?
Do Simple Things Together
Too many couples try to keep a long distance marriage alive by making grand gestures every few months, like an expensive vacation or a new car for example. But while these things are important they’re really on a luxury and not nearly as important as getting on the phone to each other when you’re watching the latest episode of Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, or whatever show you both get a kick out of watching. Obviously using something like Skype or Viber will save you a fortune on long distance charges, but make sure you share something like this with each other at least once per week – more is usually better when it comes to this stuff.
Share Special Occasions
Never let an anniversary, birthday or any other commemorative date go by without celebrating it together in some way. Calling your spouse to wish them happy birthday/anniversary is all well and good but do make sure you mail them a gift too – even if it’s just something small and thoughtful.
Work At It
Probably the single biggest reason for marriages failing is that some people who get married assume that they can just stop putting any effort into the relationship. A marriage doesn’t mean that you stop working at a relationship, in fact it usually means that you both have to work at it more than you did before, especially with things like shared assets and bank accounts coming into the picture. It should never come to “surviving” a long distance marriage but instead simply taking your relationship to the next level.
Obviously a long distance marriage is not an ideal situation for most people to find themselves in, but it does show that you’re more committed than most people to the concept of marriage because you’re willing to do it over a long distance. The good news is that most long distance marriages aren’t permanent arrangements, although I do know of certain business professionals who maintain transatlantic marriages!
What are your thoughts on long distance marriages? Good idea or bad? Have you got any advice you’d like to share?