One of the main reasons why people avoid being in long distance relationships is the fear that the other person will cheat on you because of the distance involved. Statistically speaking around 40% of all long distance relationships fail for a variety of reasons. Now while that might sound like a huge percentage it’s actually less than the number of “normal” local relationships which fail.
But the big question on most people’s minds is whether or not people in long distance relationships cheat more than people who date people living in the same city?
To be honest distance has very little to do with it – it’s more about the type of person you’re dating i.e. if they’re a cheater they’ll cheat on you whether you’re 100-miles away or 1-mile away. I know guys who have cheated on their girlfriends while they were at parties together – a cheater doesn’t need distance, they just need an opportunity.
So if you’re reading this you’ll obviously getting some kind of weird vibe from your long distance lover, leaving you concerned that they’re either cheating on you, or they’re considering it as an option.
The first thing I want to say here is that if your gut intuition is screaming at you that something just isn’t right then pay attention to it because the times I’ve been most badly hurt by girlfriends was when my intuition was screaming at me that something was wrong and I just chose to ignore it. As Home Simpson would say “Doh!”. I finally got tired of kicking my own ass every time I ignored my intuition so now I pay very careful attention it. Bear in mind that intuition isn’t just some weird, abstract hippy nonsense – your body’s primary function is to stay alive and stay healthy, so it does everything it can to protect you from harmful people, places and circumstances.
Are there any signs that you can watch for that would let you know that your partner is cheating on you? I’m very, very good at reading people and some people think it’s a weird gift I have, but it actually comes down to nothing more than just paying attention to people changing behavior, habits, body language and speech patterns. Cheaters have this weird psychological tick that makes them want to tell you the truth but they think they’re actually hiding it from you. So if your partner’s behavior or habits suddenly change without any explanation, then you have good reason to believe that something is wrong.
The quickest and best way to tell if they’re cheating on you is to have a face-to-face conversation with them. DO NO confront them about cheating on you – you need them to be completely relaxed first. So tell them you’re glad to see them, give them a hug and then sit down facing them across a table. Hold their hands, but make sure at least some of your fingertips are touching their wrists and/or palms.
Now in this relaxed state chat to them for a few minutes about silly stuff like movies and college for a few minutes and then once the conversation is flowing immediately follow that by asking them if they’re cheating on you. You need to pay a lot of attention to what happens in the next 3 – 5 seconds:
- Firstly if their hands jerk away from you that’s a sign of deception – they’re trying to cover their mouth with their hands to stop the lie spilling out.
- Secondly if their palms suddenly get clammy and their pulse rate spikes it’s another sign of deception.
You can feel all of those reactions with your hands and fingers but you also need to pay attention to their face:
- Did they blush?
- Was there a long pause before they tried to answer?
- Did their eyes glance downwards towards their left or right cheek?
Again these are all signs of at least some form of deception.
Human beings are creatures of habit so when those habits and behaviors change then it’s a sign that something isn’t right in your relationship – listen to your gut!