We’ve all been in a situation where we’re caught out and just completely blank and have no idea what to say. Like if somebody is making fun of you or maybe even threatening you, instead of coming out with a really witty comeback your brain just switches off and your mouth dries up.
This is probably a very similar experience to when you were going through the whole breakup experience with your boyfriend – you know what you want to say but nothing comes out – except maybe cuss words. It’s only when your boyfriend has left or hung up that you actually manage to say some of what was on your mind or in your heart, the same words that might have made him stop and stay to at least talk to you before things got out of hand.
Now you’re left with an entirely different situation because there’s been an actual breakup and you need to figure now what to say to get your ex boyfriend back. This is actually a whole lot easier than it sounds and you’re also getting advice from somebody with a whole lot of experience in dealing with relationship problems – me!
The first hint or tip I want to share with you here is to completely avoid any kind of psychological or emotional warfare/tactics being used against your ex boyfriend. So for example telling him that you can’t live without him or threatening to harm yourself unless he comes back to you is projecting guilt straight onto him – something he’s going to resent quite a bit.
Instead of playing mind games, like some heartbroken 16-year old with him, why not try a different approach and tell him exactly how you feel right now, obviously trying to avoid making him feel guilty either by accident or deliberately.
Next up is an apology and that means apologizing even if you’re 150% sure that the breakup wasn’t actually your fault in the first place. If you don’t think you have any need to apologize I have one single question for you – “How many people does it take to have an argument?” And yes the answer is that any argument takes at least two people to keep it going so even if your boyfriend was 99% wrong (which is unlikely) that means there’s still at least 1% of an apology worth making on your part.
You don’t believe in saying the words “I’m sorry” to anyone? Well in that case you should be prepared to spend a lot of your life alone because being able to say “I’m sorry” can heal the deepest of rifts between couples.
One of the next things to say to get your boyfriend back is to explain why you did what you did or said what you said. So if, for example, you were caught cheating or lying to him the best policy here is to just be honest and explain exactly why you did that – even if he’s still angry he’ll appreciate that you’re being honest with him. For you being honest means being able to give yourself a bit of spiritual cleansing so you don’t have to live with the guilt of an experience like that for the rest of your life – with honest everyone wins.
Above all you need to avoid any of the clichés and catchphrases you hear on TV shows like “Sex And The City” or “Desperate Housewives” or any of the other mind-numbing TV shows that would have you believe that all men are creeps and deserve to be treated badly. Remember these are fictional characters you’re watching – all of them having their own relationship problems in real life.
TV is just a fantasy ladies so don’t try to implement any “lessons” you learn from it in your own love life because I can tell you that the results will be the worst kind of backfire you can imagine. Silly clichés have never, ever saved a relationship in real life – that takes hard work.