So you’ve just come out the other side of “Hurricane Breakup” and you’re not sure what way is up right now I’d imagine? Relax you’re just going through the normal stages of a breakup and the first stage is feeling like your whole world has been turned upside down. At this point you’ll probably be quite tempted to wallow in your own self-pity and to be fair that’s a normal reaction.
The problem is that if you start feeling sorry for yourself right now that’s probably going to continue for at least a few weeks, the same few weeks when you should be working hard to sort your personal and love life out.
If you’re really serious about getting your ex back you need to be taking the following steps pretty much immediately after the breakup.
7 Steps To Take To Get Your Ex Back
1. Hold It Together
Giving up on love and on life isn’t going to bring your ex back to you, in fact it will probably drive them further way. So instead of hitting the bars and drinking away your sorrows why not hit the gym instead and get back in shape? You really need to take care of your appearance because body odor and lots of stubble isn’t going to make your ex’s heart go pitter-patter for you.
2. Review The Breakup
Far too many people skip this step altogether and miss all of the lessons to be learned from it. When a breakup happens it’s critical that you spend at least a few hours going over exactly what happened and why it happened.
There’s a chance you might just have escaped from an abusive relationship, or an unhealthy one, and in that case you need to stay gone for your own safety. Or maybe the breakup was just a stupid argument that escalated out of control because nobody was willing to back down? Either way you need to figure out exactly what went wrong before you do anything else.
3. Be Patient
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was any relationship, so even though your relationship may have ended in a matter of a few minutes it’s going to take time to bond with your loved one again and to create a brand new relationship from the old one. If this person really matters to you then take your time creating a new and fresh relationship with them.
4. Don’t Ignore Them
If you’re 16 years old and you’ve just broken up with somebody then you can play the game where you pretend to ignore them. If, however, you’re over the age of 16 pretending to ignore somebody is childish and isn’t going to make them love you or pursue you. In fact they’ll probably just think you’re nuts and go find somebody new to date instead.
A lack of communication is probably what caused the break up in the first place – especially if you’re a guy. When your ex is talking to you it’s important that you pay very careful attention to what they’re saying and anything they might be implying too – always try to read between the lines.
6. Leave The Old Relationship Behind
Never try to refurbish your old relationship – it was riddled with problems. Instead your focus should be on creating a brand new relationship with the same person but minus all the problems and issues that plagued your previous relationship. Think of it like divorcing the old version of your “ex” and starting a relationship with the new version of them.
7. Keep Dates Simple
When you’re dating your ex again don’t go crazy during the early days with grand gestures. Keep things as simple as possible and do something non-committal like playing crazy golf or going hiking together for the day. Steer clear of alcohol though because it can lead to the kinds of problems and arguments which will see your ex walking away for good.
Hopefully you’ve enjoyed reading through my steps to getting your ex back and that you get a chance to put them into practice very, very soon. I think you’re going to be surprised at how effective these steps can actually be.