The vast majority of people become their own worst enemies during a break-up and, let’s be fair, you really can’t blame them for that. Although we’d like to think that we always handle any breakup in a graceful and indifferent way that’s not how it pans out in real life. It’s very difficult to act rationally when you’ve just had your heart ripped from your chest (or that’s how it feels) and you’re looking at your hopes and dreams slowly fade away in front of you.
It’s also at this point where you’re most likely to lash out but verbally and emotionally because you need to let your boyfriend or girlfriend know just how much they’ve hurt you, when what you’re really trying to say is “I love you and I don’t know what I’ll do when you leave me”. Unfortunately your emotional brain hijacks your logical brain and you wind up screaming at the other person and insulting them. If you want to know how to get your ex back then the best first step is trying not to insult or emotionally hurt them before they leave – you can cause more damage in 5-minutes than happened in the previous months or years of your relationship.
So you want to learn how to get your ex back right now? Your first step is to emotionally detach yourself from the situation as much as possible and you can do this by spending time with family or friends instead of just sitting around brooding on the subject. Most people will want to “think about things” for hours or even days, all while locked away in a room on their own, which actually makes things worse for them.
You see by constantly thinking about a specific situation you move it from short-term memory to long-term memory – that’s just how your brain works. This means that “thinking about stuff” doesn’t actually make it go away at all, instead you’re committing it to your memory pretty much permanently.
Once you’ve given yourself some emotional and psychological breathing space you need to review exactly what happened both during and leading up to the break up itself. The reason you’re doing this is to figure out whether you want to be single or not and whether or not you want get your ex back for good and exactly why you want that to happen. This “review” will give you complete clarity about what you want to do next and exactly why you’re doing it.
During a breakup people forget that the person who did the breaking up will be hurt too and may even be the one to get in contact first. If they have the courage to actually do this don’t snap at them and make sure you take into account how they’re feeling – they’ll genuinely appreciate the care you’re showing for them, especially considering they’re the one that broke up with you. Regardless of what happened do your best to not get in touch with the other person for the first few days because things are way too emotionally charged for anyone to be thinking straight.
When you do finally speak to your ex you’ll need to avoid arguing with them, avoid trying to prove you’re right and that they’re wrong and don’t try to back at your ex, even if you are genuinely hurting inside. Instead talk to them about how you’re feeling, how they’re feeling and try to find a middle ground where you can start to sort things out in a way that works for both of you. Treat your ex as somebody you’ve loved in the past and intend spending a lot of your future with.
This is just the first step in your journey and lucky for you there’s lots of free information on how to get your ex back on my website, which I hope you’ll find entertaining, engaging and of course useful in helping you understand what you need to do next.